Welcome Back Summer

I checked the date on my phone last night. It was then that I realized that my old enemy was back and he had bushwacked me like nefarious bastards are prone to do.

Summer was back.

Some of you may be saying "But Summer is awesome! There's festivals, vacations, you can go swimming.." My only response to you is shut up. Yes, I know it's not the most eloquent of responses, but Summer affects me like a brick upside the head does, a very hot brick.

Heat. That's Summer's main weapon. Debilitating heat that makes breathing a big pain in the ass. Generally Heat will bring his pal Humidity along for the ride and then life really becomes an energy-sapping, sweat-soaked joy ride.

As I may have said before, I'm going to college to become a writer and I am currently working as a cook. You may think that I am becoming a writer so that I can get a better job and make more money. You're half right. Remember when I mentioned I was a cook? Go back and reread the paragraph if you need to or just take my word for it. Until they get that whole cold fusion thing working, most cooking involves heat. That's just how it's done. So Summer in a kitchen is just joy on top of wonderful. (In case you haven't been paying attention, that was sarcasm)

"But," you say, "restaurants are air conditioned." Ah... insightful... insightful and painfully wrong! Air conditioning costs money, it costs even more when you are trying to cool the hottest room in the place. Most restaurant owners are in it for the money, and you don't make money by trying to cool off a bunch of cooks that you gotta pay in the first place! Customers are giving you money, it makes sense to make them comfortable. That makes them come back and that kind of recidivism is a good thing. Some owners go so far as dressing up their cooks in thick chef jackets. Think about it, it's called a jacket. You wear jackets in the Spring when there's a little chill in the air and your mom tells you to take a jacket. You don't wear them in the Summer, especially not in the hottest place you can think of.

Why am I studying to become a writer? (technically a journalist but I've found that people look at you like you told them you're going into a career of killing puppies when you tell them you're studying to become a journalist.. thank you very much Ann Coultier) I'm studying to become a writer so that I can be the guy sitting in the air conditioning without a jacket. Maybe then Summer and I can be friends.

Maybe.